First Year of Teaching

I'm updating this as I experience my first year of teaching.

Pre-week 1, Aug 8-14: Wow this room is a mess. Wait, holy shit, did someone pee in here? OMFG THEY PEED EVERYWHERE. Okay, all I have to do is clean this disgusting room up and the kids will notice the difference and be more receptive to change. I'm a little nervous but I am really good at what I do. Week 1 is going to be awesome.

Week 1, Aug 15-19: OMG I'M FUCKING DYING WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE

Weekend 1, Aug 20-21: I could just accidentally walk in front of a bus. Not to die - just enough to be hospitalized for a month. My health coverage has started, right?

Week 2, Aug 22-26: Hey wait I can totally do this. It's really hard, but manageable.

Weekend 2, Aug 27-28: Yay lesson planning is fun! I hope the kids behave as well this coming week as they did last week.

Week 3, Aug 29-Sep 2: Lord, give me the strength to resist the urge to strangle a kid tomorrow. I don't care about anything beyond the three-day weekend coming up.

Weekend 3, Sep. 3-5: LABOR DAY WEEKEND! YESSSS GOING OUT OF TOWN! SEEING FAMILY AND FRIENDS! SLEEPING!!! EATING PROPERLY!!!! I can't wait to be somewhere where I feel wanted again. Lesson planning? Curriculum? Work? Meh. I'll do it later. I have some relaxing to do.

Week 4, Sep 5-9: FUCK THIS I MISS MY MOM

Weekend 4, Sep 10-11: Okay I need to get my shit together. There's a concert coming up and my kids kind of suck right now because I've been such a failure. Super teacher mode: GO

Week 5, Sep 12-16: Dear kids, why don't you get it? I've tried teaching the same shit to you in like twelve different ways but you still don't really get it. Why do I suck at this? Also, to those 5 or 6 resistant kids, I'm not going away any time soon, so calling me "gay" behind my back, being tardy all the time, and refusing to participate is really just a giant waste of your time.

Weekend 5, Sep 17-18: Hooray I love real-person paychecks. Buying cute clothes for fall. And sleeping a fuckton. Wait, why are weekends only two days long? Um, do you realize how much work I have to do?

Week 6, Sep 19-23: Wait, where in my contract did it say this job is 12-16 hours every day?

Weekend 6, Sep 24-25: My back is killing me and I can't feel my legs. And it's getting cold. Where the hell did September go?!?

Weeks 7-15: Whoops forgot about this blog post and how I was supposed to be updating it, because I am REALLY FUCKING BUSY if you haven't noticed.

Week 16: Yeah I'm done filling this out